Are you a gay man Striving to be your best self?

Then join us for the
What's Right with You?
​Accessing Creativity, Connection and Confidence
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A one-day IFS workshop for gay men

Derek Scott, Benjamin Seaman, facilitators
Saturday, March 14, 2020
10:00 am to 6:00 pm
Ripley Grier Studios
520 8th Ave 16th floor,
New York, NY 10018
​Early bird fee: $110 (Mar 1 deadline) / General $150
Discounted tickets are available for men for whom the fee would present a hardship.
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A portion of our proceeds will be donated to the Ali Forney Center, an organization that services homeless LGBTQ+ youth. 
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I'M READY TO SIGN UP! »

In this safe, supportive workshop, experienced facilitators, Derek Scott and Benjamin Seaman will take you on a fun, informative, and transformational journey to your best self!  All of us experience moments of confidence and moments of doubt and uncertainty. What if you knew how to access confidence whenever you needed? This workshop will show you how getting in touch with your PARTS can help restore a sense of aliveness, possibility, and ease so you can be your best self. We use Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help us with this process.
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Using IFS, a method for talking to different aspects of ourselves, we get to know parts of us that have been managing our lives, protecting us from rejection, and keeping us from being our full selves. This workshop is for anyone who is looking for a way to connect with themselves more deeply, make a change in their lives, face a new challenge, or simply go from good to GREAT.  

REGISTER NOW »

WHO SHOULD ATTEND

This workshop is for people who identify as gay men. 

Getting Unstuck If you have been hitting a wall in your life, this is a perfect experience for exploring your blocks.
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Facing a Fear Sometimes you know what life wants from you, but fear is stopping you from taking the next step. It's not about bulldozing over your fears and being reckless. We can befriend your protective parts and help them see things in new ways that let you move forward.

Letting Go  Sometimes we are facing a loss and need support for processing the experience in a way that allows to honor the experience and move on. 

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Coming Out  is an individual journey often filled with yearnings to be oneself and fear of repercussions from important relationships. IFS allows you to talk about the internal conflicts and take steps forward that feel safe.
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Making a Decision Research shows that the human brain literally assesses tasks, problems and workload differently based on the number of people present. Use this weekend to add CPU power to your decision making process. 

​Healing the Past This retreat is a safe place to look at what gets in the way of mourning past events, honoring hurts and release unnecessary burdens. 

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WHAT TO EXPECT

CREATING A CONTAINER
We begin this workshop with guidelines for confidentiality and respect for all types of people, all experiences, and all reactions. We celebrate your inner sceptic! We do not require you to "be positive". All elements of this workshop are optional and by invitation.

A METHOD OF INQUIRY
We have found that by noticing, honoring, and conversing with different aspects of our psyche, which we call parts, we can help people access qualities of confidence, creativity, connection and community.  We start with fun, playful exercises that illuminate how our "parts" have helped us cope with a world that is often at odds with our soul.

UNDERSTANDING SHAME, ACCESSING COURAGE
Why do humans struggle so much with shame and guilt? We unpack the origins of shame and guilt and teaches methods of changing your inner conversation so you can say YES to yourself more easily and more often! 

THE GAY MALE STRUGGLE
We’ll ask you about, and focus on topics that matter to you. These may include: 
BODY IMAGE • SUBSTANCE USE • AGING • SEX and SEX ROLES •
INTIMACY • COMMUNITY • HEALTH • ACTIVISM • RELATIONSHIPS 
CAREER • FAMILY • LEADERSHIP • FITNESS

BECOMING YOUR FULL SELF
We will dig into something we call IMPOSTER SYNDROME. This is that feeling that says "If you knew the real me, would you like what you see?" Our goal for this workshop is to show participants, in an experiential way, that this is JUST A STORY — albeit a compelling one. Ever wonder who is telling it to you? 
When you dis-identify with that story, you step out of shame and into authenticity. 

A NEW WAY OF RELATING
By the end of this workshop, you will have tasted the way you can even become friends with the toughest voices in your head, understand their positive intention, and release tension, shame, guilt, fear and worry. Life will always have its stresses, but you will learn that you will always have access to YOURSELF as you go through it. 

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

This workshop was life changing for me....I took a risk with a group of strangers and discovered a community of like-minded and like-hearted queer men who helped me walk out of the emotional hermitage where
I had hidden myself for years.
​- TL, workshop participant
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 Ben’s [workshop] ... was a real game-changer for me. At a juncture in my life where I was struggling with many issues, it offered a safe space, a much-needed respite and the clarity I needed to move forward. Ben’s warmth and gentleness shone through the weekend. It was an eye-opener being in a community of gay men where we could be vulnerable and intimate with one another. I highly recommend this to any gay man in search of self and community.
- WN, workshop participant
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“I would highly recommend Derek’s workshop for anyone serious about knowing their full potential. He is a sensitive, engaging and highly skilled facilitator who both models and teaches Self-leadership”
 - Dick Schwartz, Ph.D, Founder, IFS therapy

"Derek's workshops are transformational. His sensitivity to both the group and individual is exceptional. Workshops you don't want to miss"
- Russell Bailey, Senior Associate, Counselling Associates

Derek's skilled, measured facilitation allowed me to absorb an uncommon – and especially useful – perspective on who we are as gendered and sexual beings. He imparted valuable information, created safety for experiential exploration, and allowed space for participants to share their own fresh insights with the group.  
My self awareness and liberation keeps expanding, and I am better prepared to guide my clients experiencing confusion, hurt, and shame around issues of sex and gender. Highly recommended!
- Jason C. Weber M.Ed., LPCC-S, LICDC-CS
Professional Clinical Counselor / Clinical Supervisor 

CONTACT US »

ABOUT THE FACILITATORS

Derek Scott, RSW is founder of IFSCA, certified IFS therapist and registered social worker with over 35 years experience.  Derek Scott became interested in psychology as a gay boy in small-town England in the 70’s because he had taken in and believed many messages of shame about being “deviant” and wanted to figure out what was wrong with him. Many years of study (and therapy) led him to realise there was nothing wrong with him after all. But “How come I thought there was something wrong with me in the first place?” became the question. That is, what are the mechanisms whereby we internalise shaming messages and what impact does that have? In 2004, Derek encountered a model of therapy (and the personality) that was a total game-changer — IFS. This psychospiritual model calls on our highest Self – that we all have – to transform the suffering (especially shame) held by young parts of us frozen in time, and in the psyche, permanently. Since that time, he has taught courses and workshops nationally and internationally, presenting at numerous conferences and running programs out of his beautiful retreat centre – Namaskar – in the countryside, forty minutes from Toronto airport. He is a popular guest lecturer at the University of Western Ontario and is known for his humour and ability to engage with groups.

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​Benjamin Seaman, LCSW  is a psychotherapist, educator, and visual artist with over twenty years working with gay men and creatives. Ben grew up fascinated with both visual art and psychology. Growing up a gay in an emotionally reserved, WASP household, Ben yearned for language to explain the complex ways that family members related as well as how to navigate the world as a gay man. Individual therapy provided the key to that knowledge and Ben soon got involved in numerous transformational experiences, from Body Electric to the Mankind Project, as well as psychoanalytic training, Emotionally Focused Therapy for Families and Couples, and finally, Internal Family Systems, a model he found both personally transformational as well as organic and accessible for his clients. What Ben has most appreciated about the model is that nearly every psychological difficulty can be explained in terms of self-talk and self-protection. By simply changing the way we talk to ourselves, we can access incredible amounts of clarity, confidence and self-hood. Accessing joy and spirit in this way is also something Ben explores in his visual art. Ben has presented numerous workshops for gay men and creatives, including a long-running series "How to Find a Husband" and he ran the Rowe Labor Day Retreat for Men who Love Men for twelve years. As a co-founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, he has been pivotal in bringing effective couples therapy to the NY metro area. He is now focused on bringing IFS to the LGBT population. 

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MEETING SPACE
​IN MIDTOWN NYC